...Not just the people. But they were the biggest part. And the situation I met most of them in.
I'm not a guy who's used to being a part of something. Exclusion and loneliness were kind of the life for me, and I guess I got so used to it I told myself it was what I wanted. I mean, only two other people really validated me before then and let me into their lives but when you're such a self-absorbed turd you can't see past your own hate you don't tend to pay those things any attention. Especially when you get power. Then you KNOW you don't need to pay them attention.
But then that power is gone and everything you had is gone and you're alone in some dump you don't know and the last thing you want to do is admit you're scared. So you act the same assholish way you ever acted and when you meet people they...
They don't reject you like you expected. Some think you're a jerkwad sure but they still want to help you. They still keep coming to talk to you, and hang out with you. To be your friend.
You show what an awful jerk you can be to someone and even knowing you're a dick they still ask you "hey, we've got a group of kids banding together, you wanna join?" You tell them know and still she keeps asking you and checking up on you even though you can't begin to understand why she'd give a crap about you. And eventually you do join. Because the main thing holding you back from other people is yourself.
They know you're a selfish jerk lord. They know you're mean and an ass. They stick by you anyway, care about you, LOVE you for some reason you can't understand and...
How can you not love her, love him, love all of them after that? I'm a bastard, and I couldn't keep myself from caring.
That's what home is to me. It's WHERE those people are. Where they are, that's where I want to be most. It could be in Mayfield or a barren wasteland, doesn't matter. They're home. They always will be.
I can care about other people - I care about the gems here because I get it - I can like people here. Hey, maybe I could even grow to love some. But I don't know if I'll ever love anyone else like I love the people I knew in Mayfield. They're just....too them.
...Heh. Sorry. Probably shouldn't have given you the whole speech.
no subject
I'm not a guy who's used to being a part of something. Exclusion and loneliness were kind of the life for me, and I guess I got so used to it I told myself it was what I wanted. I mean, only two other people really validated me before then and let me into their lives but when you're such a self-absorbed turd you can't see past your own hate you don't tend to pay those things any attention. Especially when you get power. Then you KNOW you don't need to pay them attention.
But then that power is gone and everything you had is gone and you're alone in some dump you don't know and the last thing you want to do is admit you're scared. So you act the same assholish way you ever acted and when you meet people they...
They don't reject you like you expected. Some think you're a jerkwad sure but they still want to help you. They still keep coming to talk to you, and hang out with you. To be your friend.
You show what an awful jerk you can be to someone and even knowing you're a dick they still ask you "hey, we've got a group of kids banding together, you wanna join?" You tell them know and still she keeps asking you and checking up on you even though you can't begin to understand why she'd give a crap about you. And eventually you do join. Because the main thing holding you back from other people is yourself.
They know you're a selfish jerk lord. They know you're mean and an ass. They stick by you anyway, care about you, LOVE you for some reason you can't understand and...
How can you not love her, love him, love all of them after that? I'm a bastard, and I couldn't keep myself from caring.
That's what home is to me. It's WHERE those people are. Where they are, that's where I want to be most. It could be in Mayfield or a barren wasteland, doesn't matter. They're home. They always will be.
I can care about other people - I care about the gems here because I get it - I can like people here. Hey, maybe I could even grow to love some. But I don't know if I'll ever love anyone else like I love the people I knew in Mayfield. They're just....too them.
...Heh. Sorry. Probably shouldn't have given you the whole speech.